Battle Station Scorpion Cluvens IW-SK - Computer Desk of the Future Today!
I'm not sure when "battle station" became synonymous with "good table" but I'm here to tell you that we misused the phrase. Our vision was not broad enough. My PC game table is not a real battle station, because it does not take the form of a giant scorpion, which does not look like a table, but more like a nightmarish robot that can gain sentience and a taste for human flesh at any moment. Now it combat station.
« Cabin" of Cluvens scorpion on is actually motorized, going from a "relaxed" reclining position to an upright table. The keyboard stand snaps into place in your lap (trapped, by the way). The arm, which can accommodate up to three 29" monitors (or an ultra-wide 49" monitor), folds in front of you to cover your entire field of view. Cluvens only announced this chair a few days ago, but I honestly can't believe he somehow hasn't made an appearance in the Evil Hackers movie yet.
You can easily imagine this in combat. It's almost Droideka . He would simply break the monitor arm at the tip and use the uneven metal and exposed cables as a stinger. His legs are already moving when he transforms, a terrifying sight if you have insect or carpet phobia. We saw design similar on this convertible table, but none of them had scorpion legs, which really changes the vibe of the whole thing.
Cluvens knows the image he is projecting here and the absurdity of creating it. Its website guarantees that "Scorpion's claws look a bit sharp, but they actually have rounded corners. So you don't have to worry about getting cut by those corners."
Somehow I'm still worried. The Notes section suggests that you "do not place any parts of your body between any mechanical moving parts when adjusting the cabin" and also stay away from them during initial setup. I'm not going to guess how many ways can go wrong. On the other hand, this Also a massage chair.
“The chair even comes with a massage and heating function, so you can have a good time making yourself look like a real villain,” the site says.
The Scorpion is made from "industrial grade carbon steel" and comes with a two-year warranty on its electronics. It can support up to 276 pounds (124 kg), which is slightly more than its own weight. It costs $3299 and is only available in one color: black. And yes, of course, it has built-in colored LEDs. This is the only real battle station. Someone needs to play Crysis on it.